pelangi mahkota suzuka

bila masa berhenti. perlukah diubah apa yang salah? atau menyalahkan apa yang telah dibetulkan. untuk aku, bila masa berhenti.. aku ingin berhenti sekali. tidak bernafas, tidak bergerak. supaya aku tidak mengubah masa depan, atau masa silam. tetapi jika masa berhenti, janganlah hentikan daya pemikiran aku, biarlah aku berfikir. biar aku fikirkan sifat sebenarnya diri aku. adakah aku sememangnya pesimistik? atau aku hanya lakonkan watak seorang yang tidak memegang pada harapan, tetapi pada dasarnya aku optimis. adakah sememangnya aku ceria? atau aku suka menjadi ceria. ingin menjadi ceria. biarlah aku fikirkan dalam tempoh masa terhenti ini, siapakah yg aku suka, dan siapa yang aku inginkan. jika suka, tidak semestinya aku perlukan...tetapi jika ingin..tidak semestinya aku suka. tapi lebih indah jika...adalah yang aku suka, ingin dan perlukan. aku rasa dia. hanya jika masa boleh berhenti, hidup sememangnya akan menjadi lebih mudah, boleh aku tahu siapa antagonis dan siapa protagonis. tetapi jika masa dihentikan.. boleh kah kita tidak membuat silap? adakah dengan terhentinya masa.. otak manusia mampu berfikir dengan lebih rasional?
bagi aku, biarlah masa berlalu. bagi aku, memori memori lebih erat dipegang dgn kehadiran masa. bagi aku, masa-lah yang menentukan segala-galanya. bagi aku, masa- lah yang memberi kita kesedaran, memberi kita harapan, memberi kita kehidupan.

kali ini, aku menulis perasaanku dalam bahasa ibonda. berilah aku peluang berbangga dengannya.

To seek a better day

It’s been a week now. The one week “lost contact” agreement is now officially off. But It doesn’t make any different anyway. The aura still tense and plus with the new conflict just occur making me more confuse and leave me no direction to go. I just want to be someone to make her happy and keep her smiling in every second of her life. But I accidentally involve in the situation where she don’t want to talk to me anymore. I used to be the one who can hear every single word she speak, and now I’m blind to every move she make. How could this be happening? I only want to show that I’m care.

I don’t know why but there seems to be something wrong in every step I take. I can’t even get the things right. Things just getting worst nowadays. I hate this stupid negative feeling of mine. It makes me better person no more. All the shits I’ve been telling them, somehow is not working for me. No one can make me happy. Friends. Yes. I always have them. I know they never leave me. I think so. Hopefully. Really really hope so. I miss u guys.

I miss all the moments we all drew together, but now everyone is in their way to achieve their dreams. I’m on my way too. Just need to get my gear ready for first semester final paper next week. Haiz. Haven’t ready a thing.

I miss her too. When is this going to stop? Please forgive for all the same mistake I’ve done. I never meant to do all those mistakes. I’m just hoping to see you smile sincerely in every single day until the end of my life.

Come on Ezzat!! We know u can!! Chaiyok!!

The Day When Tears Begin to Drops Again..

Last night was not like the other night I normally had. It first begins with laugh and happy thought. Then it turns out to be different when I accidentally opened a topic that can actually answer my questions. Raya is near but I’m still not in the mood to celebrate it. Azeera also have the same thing in mind. She said that maybe we just getting older. Is the Raya mood only for kids?? I wish I could kids again. Having all the funs without worrying about anything, just hoping that the money we collected will be more than others. But then I will hope that my age will quickly increase. Haha.. is this really life we talking about? I’m not sure myself either. Please help me find the answer.

Again, I want to state that I am totally upset with myself rite now. I need someone to hear my whisper. But all my friends already at their beloved kampong and probably some of them are on their way right now. Well, that is why Arma come out with the blogging idea. So that we can share our story no matter where we are. Thanks ma, and I’m sorry too. I’ll try to be more active writing on this blog. Sometimes, the timing is just not rite. Please forgive me.

I don’t know how to express myself anyway. I am really really stressed out with things around here. You may not understand what I’m trying write here. Seriously, my ‘EMO’ is in the maximum level right now. Why is this should be happening? It shouldn’t be happening. We should have a happy moment together. Friends that could not be trusted. Who should I trust anyway?? Aarghh.. malas la nak tulis dah.. off..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!

MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!

SEMOGA BULAN YANG BERMAKNA INI TELAH DIPENUHI DGN IBADAH.

DAN SEMOGA BULAN YANG TIBA INI AKAN DIMANFAATKAN SEPENUHNYA.

BAIK DENGAN WANG ATAUPUN ZIARAH MENZIARAHI!

drunk.

i'm tired of being alone.~ but that doesnt mean i need someone.
i'm sure.